Happily Divorced/Re-married!

For many among us marriage, as an event carries so much value in our lives, and we consider it to be one of the best days in our lifetime, but only a few are happy in it. We as a country, have only 1% divorce rate, as compared to the other countries, but does that reflect the real state of a marriage?

As far as the low rate of divorces is concerned, we also see that 42% people in India are a victim of domestic violence, and as per WHO, “India is among top countries in violence from their partners”. Are we justifying the 1% divorce rate now?

We heard that during COVID-19, divorce rates went up in other countries, but domestic violence along with birth rates went up in India, right? The fear of one getting labeled as “Divorcee” can’t be more evident, because going through violence is better than getting divorced, right?

At the cost of losing oneself, going through traumatic incidents- mentally & physically, and even putting your child through it, is it better than leaving your partner, for real? Isn’t it ironic how everything lands down to “respect in the society” when it comes to divorce, but an individual is devoid of his/her self- respect when it comes to violence?

Why is the “I am not happy” or “We are not compatible” such a big deal? Certain compromises are understandable, that all of us make with our partners, but is compromising your self-respect & dignity worth a compromise? Is staying with your partner so important even if your basic happiness and mental health are being hampered?

We educate ourselves today, we are taught how to take a stand when it becomes necessary, but when we do, then why do people who told us to take a stand, are the first ones to back off? We suddenly become a “burden” on the family after divorce. Is it because we become someone else after divorce? Are we not the same kids to our parents anymore?

Among normalising a lot of other things, Divorce should be normalised too. The divorcees shouldn’t be banished by society or remotely treated differently. They have the right to marry as much as any other person. Yes, they were not compatible with a certain person, doesn’t mean they have a “defect” in them or that they couldn’t “maintain” a relation. Seriously, how difficult is it to understand that?

Along with divorces, the concept of re-marrying should also be discussed openly, be it for a divorcee or a widow/widower.

When a widower wants to re-marry, it is justified as “the house needs a woman to look after the children & the household” but when a widow wants to re-marry, she suddenly becomes “unfaithful” to her dead husband? Doesn’t she need and deserve support in her life?

We’ll happily get the widower/ divorcee married if it is a man, but for a divorced woman or a widow, it is “unethical and immoral”?

I mean we’d end up judging the woman for even considering the idea of divorce or remarriage, and also take it as far as assassinating her character.

A man has his needs, but a woman doesn’t? Even the children face the repercussions if the parent is a divorcee or widow/widower. They are looked down upon.

I can’t wait for the idea of “not fixing up stupid, but divorcing it” to become a trend.

The way marriages are made in heaven, so is divorce. If we consider marriage to be pious, then calling a toxic one as an impious one is correct, right? We need to stop associating divorce or re-marriage to a negative meaning and focus on the fact that it leads to someone’s life getting better, positive rather.

Over & Done with is way better than Cover & Suffer.

Done & Dusted is way way better than Dead (from the inside) & Disrespected.